what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
