I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
