If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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