I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize