I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Two words: nipple clamps
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