oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize