I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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