Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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