he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
And then the night went full on bisexual.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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