my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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