dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
