Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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