I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
