also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
