her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
