God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize