Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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