fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
