I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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