dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
