Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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