She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
