3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
