I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
