Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
