Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
