Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Dignity is for republicans.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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