Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
