I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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