Ambien. No doubt about it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
