that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize