Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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