There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
