That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
