Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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