All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize