I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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