I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
