porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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