They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
