Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
