i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
