put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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