Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
