I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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