Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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