Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
