You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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