I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
