May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize