I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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