Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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