I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
