Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
