he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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