Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i love accidental penises.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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