Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
