DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
All the doctor said was why
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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