so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
