girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
