Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize