Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am mentally ready for anal.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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