why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
