Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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