the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize