she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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