you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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