1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
