If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
