There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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