Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
