why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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