We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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