okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
