I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
