that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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