dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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