He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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